Wednesday, November 19, 2008

LATEST: KING OF UNDERWORLD IN JOHOR HAS BEEN DETAINED.

SEORANG PEMIMPIN PARTI MIC DI JOHOR DITAHAN MENGIKUT ORDINAN DARURAT PADA ISNIN LALU.


LELAKI BERUSIA 44 TAHUN ITU DIPERCAYAI DIGERUNI DI JOHOR DAN TURUT MEMILIKI 18 REKOD LAMPAU ATAS PELBAGAI KESALAHAN JENAYAH.


PEMIMPIN MIC ITU KINI DITAHAN DI PENJARA SIMPANG RENGGAM, JOHOR UNTUK TEMPOH DUA TAHUN.


More on this tonight.

This is the latest news that I covered today. It is an exclusive, ohh wow, I got an exclusive! Unlike wartawan hiburan, I always get an exclusive and tak payah nak beratur kat luar wedding hall and getting screwed by akubimbo or anything alike. Kah Kah kah... I have a good PR with people and I don't ask silly question like: "Apa perasaan makcik bila mengetahui anak makcik meninggal?".


To have an insight of the news, do tune in to your national tv tonight. Jangan tengok bola malam ni. Ehh ada bola ker malam ni?


Doing news on crime is rather risky. Ask any friend that you have that works for any media company and attached to crime desk.


I have been cornered by three men after reporting on a illegal activities in Johor Bahru and kena ugut bunuh, my car was tailed, kena simbah cat, kereta kena scratched and many more things that was beyond anyone's imagination in undertaking my responsibility as so-called journalist.


Itu belum lagi, hot stunning girls stalking me as they admire my work.. kah kah kah wishful thinking.. Mana adanya.. Men ada lah.. And that may constitute myself to gay society. Ishh.. jauhkan jauhkan. Nabi tak mengaku umat..


Talking about covering crime stories, there are some reporters yang kekadang 'passionate' about it. So passionate that they do not know what they are asking nor doing. And like my comment post @ akubimbo.blogspot.com I did mentioned they are still journalist yang tanya adakah mangsa bunuh itu mati. Pening kepala aku bila pikir kenapa soalan macam tu boleh keluar. Truly, quality of journalism is rather rendah nowadays. We are lack of articulate, witty and analytical journalist.


When we approach people for comment, I realised that in Johor Bahru, people are rather shy. Diaorang malu bercakap pada mikrofon walhal aku tengok pusat karaoke berjenama mahal dan berjenama RM1 satu lagu dan masuk satu kampung dalam satu bilik, banyak. Relevannya, mungkin sebab I did not ask them to sing, tapi ask them to comment.


Perhaps the next time around, I will bring a mini compo and play a karaoke number. Tapi itu menambah equipment, yelah, mesti kena bawak list of songs.. and I must remember who and what singer and song. Lecehlah... Any suggestion anyone?


Sometimes, people can just run away and lucky them, I don't acah acah them or anything like that. I just mumbles to myself and say, thank you for making my life easier (but in a cynical way). Ohh, definitely I won't be saying that to them, especially considering they may smack me or kick me in the butt. That won't be handsome to me kan.. hahahahah...


But why is it that people of Johor Bahru tak suka masuk TV? Kan glamour?? At least orang kampung boleh tengok.. and say something like: "Ehh Leman masuk TV, Ehh Saniboey masuk TV, Ehh Lina masuk TV lah; Fuyooo Si Atan masuk TV.. etc etc etc.. or to make things even sweeter, lets take a close up shot of the respondent who is being interviewed and that shall do them a favour and make them smile for a month or more, at least!



Kesimpulannya, mungkin sebelum diterjah oleh wartawan seperti aku, diaorang taknak sebab aku tak beri kesempatan pada mereka untuk touch up, pakai lipstick dulu atau mungkin baju mereka tak sesuai untuk ditemuramah pada hari itu, bagi wanita. Wanita memang conscious sikit tang baju, lipstick etc. Ada tu, siap beritahu, takperlah dik, akak tak cantik hari ini sebab kasut tak matching. Sejak bila ntah cameraman aku shoot sampai kasut, aku pun tak tahu.


Manakala bagi lelaki, mungkin kebetulan masa aku terjah tu, diaorang takut kantul sebab beritahu bini diaorang, ada meeting kat office padahal kat tempat lain, dan apabila keluar TV nanti, akan menjadi satu lanjutan kisah buat mereka walaupun dalam hati kecil mereka, meronta meronta untuk memberi kerjasama memberikan komen mereka.



To all girls and women out there, please make sure to spare some of the attire above, the next time keluar rumah sebab takut some TV crew datang nak interview.


Dan selalu jugak, kalau nak cari man on the street, kebetulan yang ditegur itu adalah satu pasangan, si suami pasti akan menolak isteri ke depan, suruh isterinya cakap dan dia taknak. Timbul satu kesimpulan di sini, mungkin si suami dah biasa kot bini dia kuat 'bercakap' atau bahasa kasarnya 'kuat membebel' kat rumah.. Kah kah kah.. So benda ni automatik.. Dan biasanya kedengaran.."Alah u jerlah cakap.."


So, harap harap kalau ada orang Johor baca, pastikan sebelum keluar rumah, ada sudah pastikan kasut dan handbag matching; lipstick standby dalam bag etc etc.



Cheers !!

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Let's Fight.

Im craving for jeruk today.

Mana ntah Pos Laju tak hantar hantar lagi ni. Minyak dah turun, takkan depa takder duit nak beli minyak isi kat lori diaorang? What is the meaning of Pos-Laju and it is not Laju at all?

Lembaplah diaorang ni.

Anyway, aku senyum baca comment entry from my dear friends yang stood up for what they believe. This is certainly a wonderful world.

Hopefully the following video will not happen.. :)



Jangan gaduh-gaduh tak baik - Bertumbuk takper. Atau tolak menolak.

Talking about fighting, syukurlah kita masih lagi berpegang pada budaya kita.

A kid that I know text me this:

"yeah, doesnt mean using vulgar words, kita hebat. That shows how emotional we are."

Hehe, kekadang kita lupa about that.

Referring popular online dictionary, webster.com, fight is a a battle; an engagement; a contest in arms; a combat; a violent conflict or struggle for victory, between individuals or between armies, ships, or navies, etc.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Good News To All Sugar Daddy !

Book a flight to Mexico today !

Mexico City to hand out free Viagra pills to men 70 and older

By Associated Press

8:41 PM EST, November 13, 2008

MEXICO CITY (AP) _ Mexico City is giving out free Viagra and other impotence drugs to men 70 and older.


Mayor Marcelo Ebrard says the city is i
mplementing the plan because sexuality "has a lot to do with quality of life and our happiness."

City Health Secretary Armando Ahued said Thursday that the government will start handing out doses of one or two Viagra, Levitra or Cialis pills on Dec. 1.

They will be distributed at three centers that specializ
e in sexual health for the elderly. The men will receive medical examinations before receiving the pills.

Ahued says an estimated 112,000 men 70 or older live in the Federal District, which has a population of 8.7 million.

Some 20 million people live in
the greater Mexico City area.

** end **


I just found this on AP report on the internet. Something interesting. Niat baik, tapi buat apalah depa pi bagi kat orang tua yang umur 70 tahun and older?


Datuk Bandar Mexico, Marcelo Ebrard (yes, it is easier to type his name than nak menyebutnya), kata ia diberikan bagi meningkatkan kualiti hidup dan kebahagiaan kita. Bahagia ke kalau dah umur 70 tahun pastu ‘boleh berfungsi’? And what? After taking it, they go clubbing? They lepak lepak kat Starbucks or Coffee Beans?


Wait.


If the husband is 70 years, his wife must be somewhere around that age jugak kan? (Lucky that their partner is still around, but if not???) This is what I got from Wikipedia for your reading reference:

Age of onset

The average age of menopause in the Western world is 51 years, and the normal age range for the occurrence of menopause is somewhere between the age of 45 and 55. Last period ever occurring between the ages of 55 to 60 is known as a "late menopause". An "early menopause" on the other hand is defined as last period ever between the age of 40 to 45.

So, depa nak pi bantai saper? Does this got to do with sugar-daddy syndrome? In Mexico? I took the liberty to check Viagra portal and found this:

VIAGRA is an oral medication for erectile dysfunction (ED). It helps most men with ED improve their erections. That means they are able to achieve harder erections. ß Red alert! Red alert !

Getting an erection is only half the story
Maintaining an erection is just as important as getting one. VIAGRA can help with both.
This can lead to a more satisfying sexual experience with your partner. (oppsss)


Kalau dalam The Matrix, if you take the blue pill, you are being brought to another ‘real’ world, so as you take Viagra. Kah kah,it will definitely take you to another world.

And when it says “.. can lead to a more satisfying sexual experience with your partner”; the question that pops up my mind is, who will be their partner? Takkan men aged 70 and older in Mexico has young stunning hot wife?


Is the mayor saying that they are giving out the pill to these men?

(p/s: Errr... I better start working out.. sheesh.. otherwise it will be me in that picture..and it is expensive to fly to Mexico)


Just look kat perut diaorang, kulit diaorang.. memanglah kalau pakai kot and tie nampak macho, bila dah undress nanti? I like the one yang dengan boyar tu.. akakakaka... wahahahahahah... macam mana dia kencing? Does he look? Can he see?


And what makes you think a hottie Latin like this will say yes and have them in bed?


by the way, she is hot kan.. for anyone yang ready to pose like this, pls let me know, I will make you popular.. kah kah kah..


Dia bagi this ‘magic’ blue pill pada lelaki but what about their wives? Yeah, it is normal that esok we all should see a statement "Ohh my statement is being taken out of context". Standardlah, wartawan salah. Anyway, biasanyalah, kalau dah 70 tahun or somewhere in that region, those wives mesti cakap “ahh lantak dia lah”.. or anything like it.


But truly lets go back to the same question, dia nak pi bantai saper?


What if the wife does not know that his man had snooped out and took the free pill, and *poof* at nights, a remote control was standing tall under the blanket. You know what I mean kan. And they will start quarreling, yet another excuse came up like “hey, I do have my needs..” etc. Ha hah hah…


No, I am not trying to be obscene or anything cuma that is the true fact.


Hopefully Malaysia won’t do the same sebab that will be very encouraging to sugar-daddy syndrome.

I did an interview with a sweet young gal couple of weeks ago, for TV3’s high-rated 360 on Sugar Daddy [ see http://www.tv3.com.my ] and this latest news in Mexico did raised some questions.


And why is it that young girls like older men? She said this: Lelaki muda malas kerja.


Older men brings security in life? Is it? And to older men, Viagra is truly a magic. And they have like young stunning hot stuff yang usianya sama dengan cucu diaorang? A friend, Suzy at Diners Club KL asked me, kenapa tak tunjuk muka diaorang and let the parents knows what their girl is living a life like.

Tak baik Suzy, kesian kat mak bapak diaorang tu.


I did not passed with flying colors for my math in school, but let’s do the simplest math.


The girl is a young 20 and the men is 65 and filthy rich. Yup, fucking filthy that he can spend for anything.


So, after 5 years of relationship, the girl is 25 and the man will be 70.


Lets say they are married after 5 years of relationship (should we call this relationship or scandal?) Let’s call it a scandal, because I say so. Now, the girl is 30 and the man is 75.


What the fuck can the man do at 75? Even that he is taking the pill, the chance of getting offspring is slim. We live a stressful life, and even at 35 like my friend DonC, is already stressful and he looks like 40 something.


No offence guys of 60s and above, give the young men a break will you.


And to the girls, yang korang nak sangat bebarang branded ni buat apa? To flash to your friends that you own an LV? Pi Petaling Street lah. No different what.. Kalau korang naik kancil memanglah orang cakap tak original. Cuba korang naik keta besor sikit. It works for me. Hahaha.. My Swiss Army watch that cost me 20 bucks had people thinking that it is genuine and can simply say the price fetches RM400 or more. Hahaha..


Mentality.


So my conclusion to the news in Mexico is that, the mayor is trying to justify his own needs actually sebab dia pun sugar daddy !! Wahahahahaah…


Not-A-Sugar-Daddy.

DISCLAIMER FOR THE IDIOTS.

Dear idiots and faggots, if you think you can win a fight over internet, you are at the right place. Altho, I am NOT writing to represent any of my employers, you may at any time throw your tantrum here and be willingly ready to be eaten by us. If you know the law better, leave defamation comments because I am not gonna be fucking responsible of your acts here. If you feel offended of my writings, you are a faggot. And you listen to Justin Bieber rite? Ok, you are a faggot.